That is pretty much the word that describes the state I'm in these days. I am now officially, 4 days past my due date and trying to wait as patiently as possible for her to come. I'm so very ready to meet her, it's killing me.
Last night, as I was having more contractions that didn't hurt, I turned to my man and said, "I'm waiting for them to hurt. What a strange thought. That I'm actually looking forward to the pain because it will mean that my contractions are actually doing something". He just smiled and comforted me.
What's funny about all of this though, is that it is just so perfect. This whole pregnancy was a surprise, one that we definitely thought we weren't ready for, and now here I am, waiting to meet my new daughter. I can't stop thinking about her, the way she'll look, the smell of her skin and hair, how she'll nurse, and what kind of person she'll be. I know that God had a plan when we found out we were pregnant and therefore He must have a plan about this little gal's birthday, but the longer this drags on the more I wonder what I'm not seeing.
So, in the waiting, I'm trying to enjoy these last few moments/hours/days/weeks! with Greta and my man. I'm trying to get my house ready again, because the nesting instinct that kicked in three weeks ago was awesome but my house somehow got dirty again, imagine that. I'm trying to relax, take care of myself, and spend time with lots of positive people that will encourage me in this time as well. I'm trying to notice the beauty of the Winter around me and soak up the fact that I don't have to bundle a newborn up to go outside, quite yet.
I should say this too- I would normally consider myself a pretty patient person. However, having contractions and cramps that started two and a half weeks ago meant that I started getting ready for her to join us, any minute. And then nothing happened. Nothing. Just more cramps, more contractions that didn't hurt, and more time passing by. I'm having a home birth, which is awesome, so we don't have to leave, or pack a bag, but I think it's making me even more relaxed! I'm just ready to get this show on the road!
Please pray for patience for me as I wait for the birth of my new baby.