Round 2

Well, it's official, we're pregnant again! This was definitely a surprise to all the parties involved. Greta still has absolutely no idea and I have a feeling she really won't until this little bundle joins us in the world. We are 13 weeks along, as of tomorrow, and I'm feeling pretty good. I've been tired, which by the way, means I should be resting now as Greta is but I felt like writing instead! Other than a few headaches from not drinking enough water though, I've been great.



Emotionally however, not so much. Well, I'm getting there. My dear husband and I found out about this bundle the day before Easter. We've had our share of family and friend troubles so far this Spring that telling everyone right then just didn't feel right. Also, we weren't excited. Isn't it even awful to think? Then we felt guilty for not feeling excited. Both things that my God does not want me to feel. Alas, we took in what we could, breathed, cried, got a Frosty at Wendy's, said a prayer, and went with it.

We told some good friends of ours not long afterward as they were in a similar boat, pregnant, with children already, and not really expecting it. They were excited and supportive which is exactly what we needed.

I guess I had a different plan (isn't it funny when that happens!).

• I wanted Greta to be at the birth of her younger siblings and to maybe realize, a little, what was going on. We're still planning on having her there, she just might be clueless!

• I wanted Greta to get to be the baby for a while. No matter how hard I try, she will now be the "big girl". I'll have unfair expectations on her just because she's not the infant.

• I wanted to nurse Greta for as long as we both wanted it. Breastfeeding was not easy for us. In fact, sometimes I laugh about this, but we pretty much endured every possible problem with nursing until she was about 6 weeks old. I know that may not seem like very long for some of you but let me help you with the math: nursing 10-12 times daily (on both sides!) times 7 days times 6 weeks equals 420 to 500 times of an excruciatingly painful experience that neither of us were enjoying all the while knowing that it was supposed to be beautiful and bonding. Ha. All that to say however, I'm not quitting nursing just because I'm pregnant. And I don't plan on stopping once the new babe is born. I have lots of reasons for it and maybe I'll write more about that later.
  

• I wanted to not be pregnant for a little while longer. I mean, I feel like I just got out of my maternity pants. Well, I did.

• Even as I look back on this I realize that I have started each sentence with, "I wanted" Ha.

As we approach the second trimester I am feeling much better, emotionally, about the whole situation. I am eagerly anticipating finding a midwife that will deliver this babe in our home. I am excited about eating healthy for not only myself and Greta but also this new little one. I am confident that this birth will be an experience I won't forget. I am looking forward to finding out the gender of this babe (we really don't need anymore surprises) and planning for him or her. I am excited to watch Greta become a big sister and see all the gifts she has as a little girl come to the table. I'm also excited for this bit of JOY in the midst of what felt like a hurricane around us.